Maybe it's because I've been sick and in a semi-depressed state, but lately, I've been thinking a lot about what's ailing us. Why are so many of us, including me, feeling on edge and anxious despite having all our basic needs met? We have more than enough "stuff", "food", "and "comforts", yet why are we so unhappy?
I know it's counterintuitive, but I think we are experiencing the effects of too much prosperity. For decades, at least since the end of WW2, we've lived relatively stable and comfortable lives. Compared to the plight of our ancestors, we've had it easy! Consider the lives of our great-grandparents. Day-to-day chores monopolized their time and energy. Hard physical work was unavoidable unless you were of the wealthy aristocracy.
But we are a different kind of busy today. We constantly run around buying this, tending to this or that... Modern life still requires much from us. However, unless we live without a car, or go to the gym every day, we likely don't engage in in the constant physical work of our ancestors.
So what does this do with my modern-day angst? Well, for one, I have more time to ruminate or think obsessively about my life, and all my inadequacies and failures. Social media doesn't help... I'm constantly comparing myself to others. Despite knowing people on Facebook are projecting only the successful highlights of their lives, I still suffer from social comparison.
We are also more detached from nature and our communities. The fabric that held our societies together for so long has unraveled. How many of us live in large family groups? For most of human history, we've lived in multi-generational households. We were intimately connected from birth till death with our extended families. I'm not saying that this doesn't come with its own set of problems, but for the most part, families support us both emotionally and logistically. In our modern world, we have fewer people to call on to help us when we are sick or simply lonely. At most, we have a spouse, a mom, or a child, but increasingly, we only have ourselves.
And on a larger or societal level, we are also less connected. I remember when I was young, pretty much everyone watched the same television shows and got their news from the same small handful of sources. We shared the experience collectively, and it was easy to have a conversation about current events or the latest show because everyone was basically on the same page. Today there are countless ways we access news and entertainment, all of these options further distance ourselves from others.
Because of the relative peace and booming economy that has defined America for many decades, we also have fewer opportunities for collective suffering. This is defined as shared suffering on a large scale/ societal level. War is a great example, but also pandemics or anything that plunges our society into turmoil and affects the vast majority of people.
I'm sure you are questioning why I'm linking a lack of suffering with increasing levels of unhappiness. As I understand the human experience, what unites us together or what creates opportunities for bonding is shared strife or shared suffering. This is evident when you think about our personal relationships. If you are in a relationship with someone, think about the moments of your past that helped solidify and deepen your intimacy for your partner. Vulnerability with others is the window to intimacy and love.
Now extrapolate that to the large-scale or societal level. If a nation or society goes for prolonged periods of peace and relative stability, we lose opportunities for the positive effects of unifying collective trauma. Empathy suffers and we become increasingly paranoid and suspicious. Doesn't it seem like people are just more on edge and mistrusting of others? Does this help to explain the rise of populism and anti-immigrant tribalism we are facing in 2024... all the political fanaticism and polarization???? Are you worried like I am?
I blame a lot of this disconnection on our total reliance on automobiles. At least in rural places and suburbs, we use cars to go everywhere. How often do we actually take a train or walk to the grocery store? Car travel further distances us from connecting with our larger community. Cars place us in isolated bubbles that don't allow really connecting or "seeing" others or our environment. As we race by others, there's little chance for eye contact or noticing something new.
All of this chronic isolation can't be good for us as individuals and as a larger nation. I'm sorry if this all seems so pessimistic, but I think it is good for us to address and talk about our concerns. Writing about my fears helps me in many ways. It's a form of healing for me, and even if no one reads this, I know that this is at least therapeutic to me.